Sexual Identity vs. Sexual Orientation

Everyone, regardless of gender, has a sexual identity: an understanding of yourself in regards to who you are sexually or romantically attracted to. Often, this gets confused with sexual orientation: the physical proof of who you are attracted to romantically or sexually. Often, these two terms can mean the same thing!

Confusing? For a lot of people, it can be! Think of it this way:

A person is heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or asexual (asexuality still being a debated term). If a male tells another person and/or believes that he is a heterosexual (attracted to the other sex), that is his sexual identity. However, after identifying as heterosexual, if that same male is in fact physically or romantically attracted to other men (homosexual), his sexual orientation is different to his sexual identity.

After that brief clearing up of facts, I must say…. why split hairs? Does it really matter if we can actually explain the difference between these terms? Will it change or help to develop either one if we understand what they mean? Honestly, I doubt it. I am sure that there are definitely organizations and medical practitioners out there who would happily debate back and forth on the issue, but I am also sure that the majority of people, with full understanding of these terms, are still going to go out and get their erections over the same people!

Over the years, I have discussed these things with friends and acquaintances that fall under all of the different sexual identity or orientation brackets, and even though we can all logically and rationally discuss… ultimately, no one cares. I know that when I am out and about, enjoying nightlife and being a sociable human being, and I see someone that I am attracted to, the last thing I am worrying about is whether or not I am lying to myself or fighting my own bodily urges (I never fight my urges, and neither should you!) Why (potentially) create extra problems and sources of stress for ourselves? Why not instead…. Just have sex and be happy?

In short: sexual identity is the end result of you determining who you believe makes your wang wobble or your cookie crumble, and sexual orientation is which gender/s your naughty bits respond to!

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    © 2020 by ARIANA SEXOLOGY

    Ariana Sexology:
    Level 13, 50 Cavill Avenue,
    Surfers Paradise, QLD 4217, Australia
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